Plus-sized insecurities

I hate going to work events with my husband. I have never told him this. I usually go with him anyway.

My lack of desire to go to work events with him has nothing to do with him. My husband loves introducing me to his friends. He often can’t wait to show me off. That is because he loves me so much. He is a great husband.

I don’t like going because I know that when people first meet me, they are going to be shocked at my size. You see, my husband is at his ideal weight. Plus, he is a plumbing contractor, so he is well-defined from lifting heavy materials, as well. Even though we balance each other well and get along well, I know that when people that know him first meet me, they are assessing how different we look. Specifically, they are trying to figure out how in the world we ended up together.

For the most part, I don’t worry about size anymore. This one insecurity, however, has stayed with me. Yesterday we went to a work conference together, and I found myself worried about this whole situation.

My husband is totally clueless. He is always excited to show me off. He is cuddly when we are sitting next to each other. Still, it is times like these that I just don’t feel worthy. I know it’s ridiculous. I have pushed him to be his best, and he recognizes this. Why, then would I be so worried about my outer appearance?

I guess my acceptance of my weight is not as complete as I thought. Maybe I can use this to motivate me. Honestly, though, it just seems to drag me down, instead. Β Even unconditional acceptance has its issues.

Me and hubby

7 Comments on “Plus-sized insecurities

  1. Sounds like my husband and I. I have always been over weight and he is, well, a tiny little man lol…. At one point I was 300 lbs and he is always at like 120 lbs at his highest. Talk about different, huh! It’s ok though because like you guys we are completely compatible. Love your differences. If people look at you in any kind of way that is there problem. Don’t let their problem become yours. πŸ™‚

  2. You have the ability to change anything that you do not like in your life and that is exactly what you are doing. Just keep it up!

    The little voices in your head are doing the talking, not the people. So keep that in mind and focus on the positive. That you have a loving husband and an active social life.

    Clifford Mitchem
    Advocare Distributor
    Nutrition + Fitness = Health

  3. I feel the same, I have similar anxiety’s about going to social occasions because of the very same reason. Because our own insecurities play a huge part in our own lives we think they play a part in everyone else’s and they don’t. I’ve started to tell myself this. People look at other people for all kinds of reasons. They maybe admiring your dress, your hair, your smile, your accessories, it’s not always for the wrong reasons but our insecurities make us feel its something negative. I totally understand you though we all want to be looked at for the right reason and I hope you find a way to cope moving forward. πŸ™‚

    • I actually have a blog post to write about your response! I ran into a young man the other day that was taken with my smile. It really made my day. πŸ™‚

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