I want on the train
I missed the train today. This might not seem particularly life altering, but it symbolized a lot for me.
First of all, I was tired. I have worked in Downtown Denver for years, and I have never felt this tired. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My body was achy, and my energy was much lower than usual. It didn’t occur to me until later that I was probably suffering from sugar withdrawal. Still, I just felt like a sloth today. This has to change. I cannot function like this.
Second, I could have made the train if I had picked up my pace and run. I knew when I saw the train that there was no reason that I could not make it. I used to work downtown in the 1990s. Back then I was in my early twenties, and I ran for the train almost every day. I worked in an office building that was a 10 minute walk to the train station. My group got off of work at 7:00. The train came at 7:09. It was a challenge to make the train, but we had a plan.
We worked in a call center for a telephone company. We had to be online until 7:00. One man in our group was always the first to make it to the elevator. He would hold it while the rest of us energetic workers ran to meet him. We rode the elevator about 7 floors to the main level, where we would dash to the train. We had a pact that whoever got there first would hold the door for the rest. Every evening we would collapse on the train seats, satisfied and out of breath.
Today, I was only yards away from catching the train. It was right in front of me. I just couldn’t run, though. Being overweight bogs you down. Things wiggle that didn’t used to wiggle. I watched the train pass by. You know the worst part? For some reason the next two trains didn’t show up. That never happens. I was late to pick up my kids from school because I couldn’t run to a train just a few yards away.
Now that I’m blogging, I am very conscious of how my weight affects my life. I am building a list of reasons why I want–no, need– to lose weight.
Next reason: I want to run to catch the train again.