I prepared for the beginning of tomorrow’s diet the way any sane future dieter would: I ate all of the foods that I won’t be able to eat on my diet. (Except I didn’t eat any cheesecake. I am kind of sad about that one.) I wouldn’t normally eat this stuff in one sitting, either, but I did today. I have sabotaged myself this way before. Now I have to start the diet or I am going to gain even more weight.
For some reason, when I think about starting a new eating plan, I panic. I have had to sacrifice so much in my life. When we started our family business, I was poor for two years, and then I spend many frugal years paying off the six-figure price tag of debt that we spent starting our business. I had my children earlier that I was expecting, and I put my dreams and career on hold. I have sacrificed so much. I cringe to think that I can’t even eat what I want. I remember how I felt during my former years of starvation. I don’t think I can function effectively while on a diet.
To start off, I am just eliminating sugar. I say “just,” but this is the hardest part. There goes the majority of my comfort foods. I have an aversion to sweeteners, too, so I can’t substitute. I know that I just need to let it go. Why is this so hard?
Wish me good luck. Pray for me. I know that I need to do this, but I am scared.