Carb loading

I prepared for the beginning of tomorrow’s diet the way any sane future dieter would:  I ate all of the foods that I won’t be able to eat on my diet. (Except I didn’t eat any cheesecake.  I am kind of sad about that one.)  I wouldn’t normally eat this stuff in one sitting, either, but I did today.  I have sabotaged myself this way before.  Now I have to start the diet or I am going to gain even more weight.

For some reason, when I think about starting a new eating plan, I panic.  I have had to sacrifice so much in my life.  When we started our family business, I was poor for two years, and then I spend many frugal years paying off the six-figure price tag of debt that we spent starting our business.  I had my children earlier that I was expecting, and I put my dreams and career on hold.  I have sacrificed so much.  I cringe to think that I can’t even eat what I want.  I remember how I felt during my former years of starvation.  I don’t think I can function effectively while on a diet.

To start off, I am just eliminating sugar.  I say “just,” but this is the hardest part.  There goes the majority of my comfort foods.  I have an aversion to sweeteners, too, so I can’t substitute.  I know that I just need to let it go.  Why is this so hard?

Wish me good luck.  Pray for me.  I know that I need to do this, but I am scared.

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